Memories
by Orion9
Summary: By the time the call was done, she knew that she would have to say goodbye to one special boy.
1. News

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and all related characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, SCI FI Channel, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no profit is being made here.

Category: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Childfic

Feedback: Yes, please! :)

This is for pettygrew, BizzyLizzy, Grey8, Monica, miscbills and ditzywaitress. Thank you all so much for your encouraging reviews for _The Jar_. Have no sequel planned for it at present but I hope you'll enjoy this new story. Lastly, to sHoT – what would I do without you? :D

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The young woman looked on, the tiny hope within her dying a slow death as her husband continued to speak, his normally pleasant voice low and terse, into the telephone. Cold hands clasped tightly together to mask the slight tremors in them, she watched with mounting trepidation, dark green eyes growing wider and more fearful the longer he continued to argue with the person on the other side. Hardly breathing, with her heart lodged somewhere in her throat, she waited, biting into her bottom lip so hard that the part of her that was oddly detached from all of this was somewhat surprised that she hadn't drawn blood just yet.

There. He'd finished.

She felt her stomach clench, hard and painful, as he slowly hung up the telephone, knowing instinctively what he was about to tell her. Lines of defeat were written all over him, and he heaved a sigh that seemed to come from his very soul before he turned towards her, his handsome face scoured by the knowledge he carried.

_It's over._

Without warning, the thought pushed its way through and to her horror, her eyes filled.

He didn't really have to say anything, she thought vaguely, blinking hard. In some way, she'd always felt that things had been too good to be true and had nursed the suspicion, deep inside, that it wasn't going to last. In some way, she'd known it all along. But whatever preparation she'd made, subconsciously or otherwise, hadn't made the pain any more bearable.

And in spite of their very best efforts, they'd lost.

_It's all over._

"Lily…" he began, seeking her gaze, his grey eyes dark with regret.

Involuntarily, she took a step back, shaking her head, her mouth forming a soundless 'no'. She wasn't ready to hear what he wanted, _needed_, to tell her. More than that, she wasn't sure if she could hear it right now – knowing that once he'd said it aloud, it would make whatever that was going to happen all the more excruciating. It'd be final – it'd be real, and it would become something they, _she_, would not be able to change. A sob caught in her throat as she felt the first painful crack and wondered if her heart would be able to survive the coming blow.

"No…" she whispered, wishing that she could in some way turn back the hands of time, and stop this moment from happening. The invisible crack running across her heart widened and she pressed her palm hard onto her chest – perhaps if she did so hard and long enough, she'd be able to prevent her heart from shattering to a million tiny pieces.

"Lily, please…" he implored, his own misery apparent in his voice.

It wasn't fair – they were just beginning to become comfortable with each other. Not that it took a lot to accomplish that – despite knowing the risk that he may not be placed long with them, she'd more or less fallen in love with their adorable young charge the moment she'd set eyes on him.

_But who wouldn't?_ She almost laughed out loud at that rhetorical question. He was so very easy to love, and completed their tiny family perfectly, despite their rocky start. At first glance, he appeared to be an unusually subdued child, small for his age, but she had seen through his solemn, sometimes dour manner, recognising it as one of his defense mechanism against what he considered a cruel world.

Not that he had been very far off mark – since he'd lost his parents less than a year ago, he'd been bounced from one foster home to another, sometimes not staying long enough in one place to adjust to the change before he had to move once more. No wonder he'd been so distrustful and had held himself rigidly apart from them when he'd first arrived. However, in spite his efforts to hide it away, she'd sensed within him a deep, almost desperate need for belonging, for family. That knowledge alone had helped her to get past the mask that he'd presented to the world to the intensely complex little boy underneath.

Reminding her once again that still waters do run deep.

His quick intelligence had all but taken her breath away. And while Lily had continued to marvel at his natural gift for languages and his passion for learning, it was his earnest, wide-eyed declaration of becoming an archeologist like his parents when he grew up that had charmed her over entirely. But she knew that it was his ability to care for another, even after all he'd been through, that illustrated clearly just how truly special he was.

While their young charge still had the occasional nightmares, which had plagued him virtually every night during their first two months together, he was now more at ease with the comfort that was offered to him. Although, to this very day, neither one of them ever found out what his nightmares were about, except that they involved his dead parents – the small boy had steadfastly refused to talk about the dreams, and had ignored all their efforts to get him to open up about them.

And Lily had promptly added 'stubborn' to the growing list of things that defined their foster son.

Initially, they had been more than a little distressed when he'd woken up screaming and crying in the dead of the night. But they'd made sure that either one or the both of them were there whenever he did so, realising that their presence were a big help in soothing away the remnants of those terrible dreams.

Either Lily or Michael would then hold the young child tightly in their arms, rocking him gently until he fell asleep once more. For the past couple of months, however, he'd been sleeping peacefully throughout most nights. Encouraged by the development, Lily prayed that there would come a time when the nightmares would stay away for good.

Once they'd cleared that terribly awkward hurdle at the very beginning of their life together – one that was accentuated by sullen moments, sudden tantrums and silent treatments – things had smoothed out almost immediately. The message that _someone_ care and wanted him finally got through to the little boy and all of a sudden, the three of them were a family, the kind Lily had always dreamed of having.

And she had been so very happy. _They_ had been so very happy. When they decided to try for an adoption, she'd held on to the hope that everything would ultimately work out for them. Then, would they be a _real_ family in every sense of the word.

A wishful dream that was now never going to be.

Lily choked back another sob, her resolve to not cry dissolving totally the moment her husband drew her into his arms and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry, honey," Michael murmured into her ear, tightening his arms around her as she clung to him, sobbing out her anger, frustrations and grief onto his shoulder, one large hand making slow, soothing circles on her back. "They tried their best but he wouldn't sign the papers..." _Damn that man and his perverse sense of family…_

Dimly, Lily heard the words but was unable to form a reply – incapable of anything at the moment except to simply lean into Michael's warmth, drawing solace and love from his tender embrace.

Finally, her sobs tapered into soft hiccups and she turned her head to one side, listening awhile to the slow, even beat of his heart beneath her ear. The steadiness of the sound helped her to organise her scattered thoughts, and she sniffed once before drawing a deep breath.

"When?"

"Next week. They'll be placing a new child with us a few days after that. Gale says if we want, we could try for an adoption then, since this one doesn't have a legal guardian that won't give him up."

"Oh, Michael … I don't want another…" Her voice broke and she trailed off.

"I know, sweetheart," he said softly. "I'm so sorry it had to turn out this way. I love him too…" He sighed, running a hand through his dark brown hair. "He's an easy kid to love…"

"Lily?"

A young child's voice, hesitant and unsure, called out from the other side of the door, interrupting the rest of his sentence and Michael felt her stiffen slightly in his arms. As Lily pulled away from him, swiping hurriedly at the tears on her face, he could see her visibly pulling herself together.

His whole being swelled with love for her and Michael wished again that she didn't have to go through this turmoil. But if there was one thing he knew about his Lily, it was that she would weather this through, as hard as everything might be. He only hoped that there wouldn't be too many pieces of her heart to put back together once this was over. No matter, he reflected as he gave her an encouraging smile, for as long as it took, he'd be right there, putting those pieces back together with her.


	2. Outcome

Leaving Michael's side, Lily hurried towards the door and pulled it open. Her chest felt abnormally tight as she stared down at the small figure it revealed, her gaze taking in the slight frame, tousled light brown hair and huge blue eyes behind large glasses. Wide blue eyes that were now looking up at her, their depths filled with a combination of curiosity, fear and uncertainty.

_Daniel._

There was a smudge of dirt on his nose and one cheek. She smiled when she noticed he had a tiny brush clutched in one grubby hand – he must have been digging out in the back garden again. He'd been quietly ecstatic when they'd given him permission to do so and had been outside almost every evening happily exploring the backyard. Absently, she reached out a hand and lightly brushed the dirt away and then finger-combed his hair, gently smoothing it away from his brow.

_He'll need a haircut soon. _

Her own eyes flooded once more when the next thought came unbidden to mind, directly on the heels of the first one.

_But I won't be there when he does._

"Lily?" Daniel looked worriedly at the unexpected sight of the tears in his foster mother's eyes. Dropping the brush, he quickly latched onto her sleeve with one small hand and tugged hard, asking at the same time, "What's wrong?"

Slowly, she knelt down, and wordlessly drew him into a tight hug. If only she never had to let him go.

_And if wishes were horses…_

"L-Lily…?" The young voice quivered slightly when the feeling that something was wrong, really wrong, intensified within him. He waited but soon realised that no answer was forthcoming. Instead, the only reaction Lily showed was the tightening of her arms around him.

Daniel turned his head with some difficulty, his sky eyes impatiently seeking out the only other person in the room with them. "Michael? What's …what's wrong with Lily? Is she sick?"

Standing directly behind Lily as she remained crouched over Daniel, her slim figure enveloping the child's, Michael swallowed hard and forced himself to meet the inquiring gaze. "No, Danny…" Startled by the hoarse quality of his voice, he cleared his throat before continuing, "She… she's not sick."

The small face scrunched up in puzzlement while huge eyes peered up at him from behind Lily's shoulder. "But, then… why is she crying?"

Michael leaned down, placing a somewhat unsteady hand on Daniel's small head for a moment but didn't answer his question. Instead, he proceeded to touch his wife lightly on the shoulder. "Lily, honey … you're scaring him…"

She started at the warmth of his hand; she'd almost forgotten that Michael was in the room with them until his touch and deep baritone had broken through her haze of despair. Quickly pulling herself together, she gave Daniel another brief squeeze before letting go and standing up. Refusing to break contact with him, she kept one hand on his arm, pulling Daniel gently along with her as she headed towards the bed and sat down.

The eight-year-old followed obediently, allowing himself to be towed along, a tiny frown of confusion marring his features. Settling himself on the bed beside her, he first looked up towards Michael, who'd also drawn near to stand beside the bed before settling his gaze on his foster mother, who looked like she was going to burst into tears once more.

Lily stared silently back at the child she'd come to think of as her very own, taking in the fine features already showing signs of the good-looking man she knew Daniel was going to be when he grew up. Taking a shaky breath, she tried her best to memorise every single detail of his face, knowing that she'd need it for the long days ahead when he was no longer a part of their lives. Reaching out once more, she gently pushing aside the soft silky hair that covered his forehead, a small involuntary smile finding its way to her lips. _Yes, you're definitely going to break some hearts, little one…_

Unaware of Lily's thoughts, Daniel looked solemnly back at his foster mother, his eyes huge and curious behind his glasses. The single tear that escaped from the pool collecting in her green eyes increased his worry and he tentatively put a hand out to wipe it away as it jerkily made its way down her face.

"Is everything okay?" the young boy asked finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Daniel…" Lily began, and then stopped, unable to go on. Sensing rather than seeing her husband move closer, she was grateful for Michael's hand upon her shoulder and leaned into him briefly, drawing some measure of strength from the contact. With a sigh, she straightened, and then met the child's eyes. "Daniel, we've just got word from your social worker…"

At that, the thin shoulders drooped, and the small face fell. With just one simple sentence, she felt like she'd just destroyed his whole world. Lily caught a flash of anguish in the incredibly blue eyes before they too, were swiftly shuttered, as if it would help to protect him from the coming pain. Looking away, his arms slowly went around himself in the familiar self-hug, one that he'd used almost incessantly when he first came to live with them almost five months ago.

She could tell that he was already withdrawing from them, from _her_, once more.

Precisely that very moment, and with every fiber of her being, Lily hated Nicholas Ballard, along with the system that this sweet, incredibly intelligent boy was currently lost in, cognizant of that fact that they were preventing Daniel from acquiring the one thing he needed most in his young life – a permanent home and family that would love and cherish the special person that he was. But the hatred she felt towards them didn't come close to the magnitude that she had for herself right now. _If only they'd been successful in their pursuit for adoption…_

"Daniel…?"

He looked up at her soft call and her heart twisted further upon seeing the expression on his young face. Lily's breath caught, and she wondered just many times he'd been through this very occurrence, wishing with all her heart that she didn't have to put him through it yet again. _Please, let this be the very last time he'll hear this from anyone..._

"I'll have t-to l-leave, won't I-I?" Daniel asked, his voice breaking at the end of his question. With that, he broke eye contact and looked down at the bed covers, blinking furiously.

"Oh, Danny…" Lily reached over and hugged him to her, feeling the lean frame shudder with his efforts to hold back his tears. "Yes, I'm sorry. Your grandfather would like to remain as your legal guardian and…"

"But he d-doesn't w-want m-me!" Daniel protested brokenly into her shoulder, openly crying by now.

"Yes, he does," Lily was quick to assure the young boy, her heart shattering at the burden he was carrying upon his thin shoulders. "Listen to me, Daniel, your grandfather may not be able to take care of you right now, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want you, or … or love you."

Pulling back a little so that she could look into his face, Lily could see that he remained unconvinced by her words. Small wonder, considering the number of homes that he'd been shuffled to in the past year alone. After meeting her eyes for a few brief seconds, Daniel looked away to stare at his glasses, his expression closed. It had fallen off during the hug, and now he studied it with some sort of grim fascination as he held it ever so loosely in one small, limp hand.

Cupping his face with both hands, she waited until he'd turned those brilliant blue eyes towards her before saying softly, "I'm so sorry, Daniel."

At his confused look, Lily clarified gently, "I'm so sorry we were unable to get those papers signed. And although we are not able to keep you with us, it doesn't mean we will not continue to love you as well."

Daniel's face crumbled at that, and he hurled himself back into Lily's arms, burying his face in her shoulder, and returned her hug fiercely. She made soothing noises as she rocked him gently in her embrace, rubbing his back in a manner not unlike how Michael had comforted her earlier.

After a while, his broken sobs quietened into sniffles and the occasional hiccups. "I'm really gonna … miss you both…" he whispered in between sniffs.

"And we're going to miss you too, Daniel, so very much." She smoothed hair out of his eyes. "I want you to promise me something, okay? Promise me that you'll always remember that you are one very special individual, and you will always remain special, no matter what happens or what other people tell you. Can you do that?"

He pulled away, considered her words carefully for a moment and then nodded solemnly at her, his eyes beginning to fill up once more. "I-I promise."

"Good boy," Lily ruffled Daniel's hair, eliciting a sad smile from him. "Now then, we still have a week to be together. What do you say we start by getting us an ice-cream each?"

Another slight, tentative smile was her reward as Daniel's head bobbed slowly in reply.

"Okay?"

"Okay," he answered shyly, scrubbing at his face, wiping away whatever traces of tears that still lingered there before putting his glasses back on.

A soft rustling sound told her that Michael had moved from his original position and was now standing facing her. Looking up and meeting her husband's eyes over Daniel's head, Lily felt her smile waver slightly.

"You did great, honey…" Michael informed her softly, his eyes full of love.

She nodded, swallowing hard, and then glanced down at the other important male presence in her life. Daniel was looking downwards, lost in thought, a slight frown of concentration on his face as his small fingers traced the complicated patterns of the bed covers. He looked so small and vulnerable and it was all she could do to keep at bay the tears that were threatening to spill once more.

One week.

"C'mon, sport," Michael spoke up, holding out his hand towards Daniel, who stopped his finger movements and turned towards him. "Let's get you cleaned up and changed while Lily gets ready."

"'Kay."

One short, fleeting week.

Watching as her young foster son gripped Michael's hand tightly and followed him out of the room, Lily unconsciously straightened her shoulders. They were going to lose Daniel to the system once more but they still had a week before that happened. For now, all that matters that they were still together. Still a family.

Seven measly days.

Her resolve strengthening, she swore that she was going to make it an unforgettable week for one extremely special and remarkable little boy. And when they were done, if ever Daniel Jackson were to find himself all alone, he'd have enough of those memories to keep him warm during the long hard days and cold dark nights.

One week.

Lily took a shuddering breath and proceeded to get ready for their impromptu outing. The time they had been given to be together might not be enough but it would have to do. She would deal with the heartbreak when the time came.

Right now, the three of them had some nice memories to create.

The End


End file.
